Wednesday, August 21, 2013

21 Things You Learn on a 3100 Mile Road Trip... 7 days, with 13 people, in a 15 passenger van

1. 13 people will fit in the front two seats of a van...if the conversation is good enough.

2. You can wait to use the restroom hours longer than you think (or probably should).

3. Pistachio shells, should be dropped in a designated dropping area vs. being scattered on every surface to provide in-car massages.

4. When you're in the middle seat, your only scenery will be your two bookend seat mates (definitely something to consider if you will be sitting in the middle for very long).

    In order to preserve family unity we will not mention any names. ; )

6. When choosing lunch stops, majority rules.

7. In n' Out is in Utah! If given the slightest opportunity, go!

8. Sling shots and footballs should NOT be allowed in the van.

9. Expect to be burrowing under the seats for 15 minutes prior to all stops digging for shoes. If you're lucky, you might find a pair (Kloe may or may not have been seen going into Taco Bell with one size ten high heel, and one white, right, flop on her left foot).

10. Mad Libs, Boggle, and Louis 'Lamor on tape are awesome!

11. If verging on boredom, repeat the phrase "Johnson's are never bored" 20x or--my preferred method--begin eating snacks.

12. The speed limit in Wyoming, and Utah (and pretty much everywhere but Oregon) rules!

13. Do NOT put Chipoltle leftovers under Daddy's seat without telling anyone for 48 hours. The results are somewhere along the lines of a bean/diaper scented air freshener.

14. The rule "You must drink the WHOLE water bottle doesn't seem to work." Halfies are now reserved for 12 and under.

15. The Van gets smaller each year...

16. Don't bring a ukulele in the van when you only know 2's out of tune, and you forgot the string names.

17. Joel Rosenberg (More specifically "The Damascus Countdown") + Road trips are like ice cold Ginger Ale on a hot day--a welcome break, refreshing, engaging, and finished all too soon.

18. Who brushes their teeth in the morning and who should...

19. Highlights of the road trip include: Choking on the numerous tear jerkers as Daddy reads Ralph L. Moody's "Man of the Family."

20. You CAN still fit on the floor to sleep...anything is possible. Cons? Wiggle room is prohibited. Pros? No one will fight you for your spot.

21. It's amazing that I can be cramped next to a person for hours, know all their weaknesses, realize that they know all mine, fight over ridiculous things (of course making-up afterward), and say exactly what I want with out having to worry "what will they think?" They put their feet in my face, see me when I need to "change the oil in my hair," tell me when I'm a crab, and WAY worse yet we still love each other...a lot! That's family for you. No one but family. What a beautiful unit God planned.
This doesn't look as crowded as it feels...oh yeah, Bentley, Daddy, and Mother are not pictured; neither are the mountains of "cannot-part-with" stuff on the floor. 

 Full of gratitude for the good times...even happier that we are home!
                     ~Me...with the unlimited help and approval of all the faces in this picture. I love you guys!